Embracing Life's Interruptions: an Unplanned Creative Hiatus Without the Guilt
- Feb 13, 2024
- 5 min read
I've taken an unexpected break from writing, and I hope this is my return to a more consistent schedule. Because sometimes... life just gets in the way.
Sometime in the last couple of weeks, I started to feel guilty and bad about not prioritizing creative time in my life. And through years of practice, I was able to notice that guilt creeping in. That's now a signal I use to stop and reflect. It's been over a year since I decided guilt isn't a feeling I will let take over and let me feel bad about myself. Guilt, like all feelings, is a signal our brains send us. It means that something's not right, and we can take that and either let it spiral or act on it to make a thoughtful change.
So, I asked myself questions. This isn't a deliberate set of questions I always ask myself; it is just some examples of a train of thought that helped me address my guilt in this situation. An inner dialog such as this helps us work toward a better situation or response to what is happening around us.
First, I addressed the guilt itself:
Q: Where is this guilty feeling coming from?
A: I was on such a roll doing tons of creative work, and it was making me so happy. I was starting to conjure dreams of where these could take me in my career. And then, it felt like I had suddenly stopped, and all those hopes and dreams were either misguided or would never happen. It felt like if this was what happened when I had a setback in life, I would never be able to make my passions become my career.
Adding to that:
I'd been letting my kids have much more screen time than usual because my husband was coming home late from work for a few weeks.
I haven't been going to yoga or Tai Chi.
I haven't been waking up early for my beloved me time.
FOMO - I'd seen all these intriguing posts pop up on Substack and in newsletters, but I didn't have the energy to read them! I also was falling behind on all the books I'd just gotten excited about reading. There were so many things I wanted to do but wasn't!
Q: Is it warranted (have I done something fundamentally wrong)?
A: No, I haven't
Q: Have I hurt anyone?
A: Nope!
Then, addressing what triggered the guilt:
Q: Have any circumstances changed that put me in this situation?
A: Absolutely. My husband has found himself in a project for work that is taking up a ton of his time and is dragging out much longer than expected. This means I've had to take over some of his duties on the home front. I don't blame him for this. It's just something that has to happen. Taking on additional necessary tasks means lowering standards on things like the cleanliness of the house and just being generally more tired. And again, we can reflect on the situation to see if something like this can be handled differently in the future.
At the same time, we had a couple of delayed openings and snow days at school.
Plus, most of the family went through a cold a few days in between each other, which ended with me being sick and absolutely exhausted for a solid week, which is where I am now, finally, on the other side of that cold.
Daffodils peeking through the ground: signs of growth and a source of inspiration
Q: If my friend were telling me all this, what would be my response?
A: Wow, that's a lot. Give yourself a break; it sounds like you need it, and there's nothing wrong with that. Just because you have to take a break from your creative projects right now doesn't mean you have to forever.
Q: Is there something I could have done to prevent this situation?
A: No, it was all out of my control. The only thing I can control is how I respond to it.
Q: In hindsight, could this break be something I need?
A: Perhaps, yes. I'd been going full speed on projects and lots of new ideas, and this could have been a necessary break that I wouldn't have thought to give myself if I weren't forced into it.
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Finally, thinking about how I can learn from this:
Q: Could I have satisfied my creative urges instead of letting them fall by the wayside?
A: Probably. Just carrying around my sketchbook and a few markers could have helped me in a small way. I could also have journaled more to get my feelings out and better process them.
Q: Did I even need to?
A: No.
Q: Could I reframe my thinking in any way?
A: Once I saw that this time would be particularly challenging, I could have decided that I was intentionally taking a break to focus on the more pressing tasks at hand. Another idea is to allot a certain amount of time for this break so that I know I will come back to it then, or if necessary, reassess the situation and determine if I need to extend my break or change how I'm handling it.
Slowly Adding Back In
Now that I’ve gone through this reflection, and some things have passed, such as the illnesses we’ve had, I can start doing things to fill my cup once again. One way to boost energy that I find incredibly helpful is to spend time outside. Yesterday and today, for example, I forced myself to overcome my couch potato desires and get outdoors. That almost instantly made me feel more energized.
From there, I will build, starting by writing and posting this article, prioritizing movement and getting outside, and adding back some of my other creative practices when I have the time and energy.
This slow-down isn’t over; my husband is still working late hours, but with this new perspective, I’m taking it easy and allowing myself the grace I deserve. I’m in a creativity slow-down for the next 2 weeks and will reassess the situation then.
Life’s Little Tests
To wrap up, this experience has certainly been a test. I was worried I'd lost my creative spark, overwhelmed by life's unexpected turns. But here I am, feeling lighter, more enlightened, and honestly, proud of myself. This process of questioning, reflecting, and accepting has reminded me of the value of resilience and self-forgiveness.
With its ups and downs, life sometimes feels like it's plotting to keep us from doing what we love. Yet, it's also life's way of reminding us that it's okay to hit pause, breathe, and take care of ourselves. My creative journey isn't over; it's just slowed down a little. And that's perfectly fine. Breaks aren't signs of failure but opportunities for growth, reflection, and recalibration.
So, to anyone feeling bogged down by guilt or overwhelmed by life's curveballs, remember this: It's okay to take a step back. It's okay to rest. Your passions, your dreams, they'll wait for you. And when you're ready to pick them back up, they'll flourish in ways you never imagined. Here's to embracing the ebb and flow of creativity and life—guilt-free and with a heart full of hope for what's to come.
Have you experienced anything like this before?
See you on the other side!
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